I confess
by Sg1Trooper
Summary: Jack confesses this is not how he expected to spend New Years Eve.


I confess this is not exactly the way I was planning on spending New Years Eve or day. It was going to be spent at my cabin alone with my best friend Jack as in Daniels and Johnny as in Walker.

I gave myself time off. I had worked Christmas Eve and Christmas at the SGC. I wanted everyone that had family to be able to spend one day or the other with the ones they love.

Cassie had been upset she wanted to spend it with all of us but Sam had plans to spend it with Pete in Denver. She was going to meet the whole Shandling family.

She told us a week before Christmas that she would not be here for the holidays. It would be the first time we would be spending Christmas apart. It felt like the last nail in the coffin of what we once shared. She had moved on and we were being left behind so she could start new with others.

Daniel was disappointed but tried to hide it saying he was going to go see Sarah in Chicago, Teal'c said he wanted to go visit his son and his new wife. So it was just Cassie and I.

She was feeling bad thinking her family was splitting up but I explained to her that things change and that Pete was part of Sam's life now and she would have to deal. I said it to her but I was really saying it to myself.

Pete had asked for a transfer to Colorado Springs and would be moving into town at the beginning of the month. I didn't want to know the details it was bad enough when she told me they were engaged but if she expected me to help her move loverboy into her house nope not going to happen.

Cassie asked if she could bring a friend and I said it would be fine since she wouldn't be here long. I surprised her with two tickets to Hawaii for her and her friend she was coming down with. She was excited just to see her smile was worth the price of the tickets.

She said she didn't bring a bathing suit or any summer clothes and I handed her a check that made her squeal with delight and I was rewarded with another smile and a kiss. I drove them to the airport on my way to work and told her to call me when she got there or if she needed anything.

Sam came to me right before she left and asked what where my plans. I told her and also mentioned to her Cassie's present.

She blurted out, "sir you're going to spend the holidays alone?"

She was embarrassed after she blurted out what she did. She turned a lovely shade of red and I reassured her that I would not be alone. That I would be working on Christmas Eve and day and that I had contacted some of my old friends and that we would be spending New Years together.

She asked if she knew these friends I said no that it was before the SGC. She said she had a gift for me and I reached into my desk and handed her a small bag. She handed it to me and said that I should wait till Christmas to open it. I smiled and said I would open it Christmas morning here at the SGC right before eating my oatmeal.

She smiled and looked at the bag. I told her since I couldn't open mine she couldn't open hers. She nodded and wished me a Merry Christmas and said she'd be back to work on Monday.

Christmas came and I opened my gift. It turned out to be two. Sam always gave me 1 gag gift and her real one. She never disappoints.

They were a pair of Homer Simpson Boxers with him in a Santa cap singing "Jingle Bells." The other was an envelope telling me to go to her lab and look behind the door. My curiosity got the better of me and I put the boxers back in its bag and headed to her lab. Opening the door and looking behind the door I was speechless.

There against the wall was a fishing pole. I stared at it for a good minute and finally reached for the tag that was attached to it.

It said, "Sir I for one believe you would finally catch a fish if you used this pole since your old one seems to be broken thus explaining why you never catch any fish. Hope you enjoy and I'll be thinking of you up at the cabin since you never invite me anymore."

I muttered to myself that I wasn't allowed to invite her anymore since she was no longer mine to invite. I picked it up and felt how light it was and new she must have spent a tidy sum for it. It even had a nameplate with my rank and name put on it. I traced it with my finger. I was about to tear up when my name was announced over the PA.

I went to my office to see what the matter was. Walter told me it was Daniel and he said it was an emergency.

"Daniel what's wrong?"

"Jack I just got a call from Sam and Jack have you talked to her or Cassie? Of course you haven't talked to either one of them or you'd be in shock too…"

I looked up and Walter was at the door telling me Cassie was on the line. I nodded and put babbling Daniel on hold.

"Cassie?"

"Jack did you hear the news? How could she I always thought she would change her mind that she was making a mistake, and now she's done this? Oh and she wants me to be okay with it no I wont do it she can't make me."

Walter cleared his throat and I looked up. He said that Colonel Carter was on the line. I put Cassie on hold and went to pick up Sam's line.

"Merry Christmas Carter thanks for the present I'm speechless."

"Oh sir really it was nothing. Ah I have something to ask you I need more time off if that's okay with you but if its not I understand so will Pete and his family. He understands how important my work is and well then he has just got to get use to it and oh have you talked to Daniel or Cassie?"

"Carter stop rambling I have them on hold and they were trying to tell me something but they're rambling too so what the hell is going on and I want a straight answer."

"Pete asked me to marry him."

"Tell me something I don't know Carter. I know you showed me the ring, you kept him waiting for two weeks to give him an answer, we all congratulated you and went to the party so you're stating facts I already know."

"I meant to say he wants us to get married in a week on New Years Eve since all his family is here and well he thinks we shouldn't wait and he already got the chapel and the flowers and his mother picked me out a dress and…"

I dropped the phone. The sneaky bastard was going to marry her without any of us around. I could hear her calling out my name. Okay regroup don't let her know how much this is killing you. Take a deep breath and give her the time she wants congratulate her and then go straight to the surface and scream your lungs out. I put the receiver back to my ear to hear her speak.

"Sir? You still there I know this is sudden but if you can't swing it they'll understand. Hell I don't even know if it can be done and you have to be here as does Daniel, Cassie and Teal'c. Mark can't come and dad well he can't either I need you guys here."

I looked at my phone with the two blinking lines. Cassie and Daniel I had forgotten they were on hold. They were calling me to soften the blow.

"I don't know if I can change my plans Carter, you know my friends are coming into town its short notice and I was looking forward to it. As a matter of fact I might have to cancel I've been waiting for Thor to contact me about something…"

"Sir if I'm needed back…"

"NO! Carter its nothing major take an extra two weeks don't worry about this place it will still be here when you get back."

I heard her sigh. "I really wanted you to be here sir. But I understand. Its short notice and you do have a mountain to run and Thor can't wait. Thank you for being understanding and I'm glad you liked your gift. I'll call you later when I have more time oh and can you relay the message to Teal'c I'd really appreciate it."

I told her I would, congratulated her and said that Pete was a lucky man.

She paused as if wanting to say something else I asked her if she needed anything else and she mumbled no and wished me a Merry Christmas and hung up.

I looked at the phone knowing at that moment I had lost her for good.

I pushed down the button to Cassie and said I knew and I was fine and if she wanted to fly to Denver that was fine to use my credit card. Cassie said no that she had hung up on Sam before asking her how she could do this.

"She's wrong Jack, she doesn't want to do this but in her mind he's what a normal life should be. Well newsflash her life isn't normal and she's making the biggest mistake in her life and I won't be a part of it."

"Cassie she needs you there, she needs her family."

"Then you're going too?"

The little minx was getting to smart for her own good.

"I can't got to stay and wait for and important call and…"

"Yeah right well if you're not going I'm not. She won't go through with it and if she does then she's not as smart as she says she is. I wish you two…"

"Cassie stop look it's never going to happen life isn't that simple so you move on. I'm disappointed in you I thought you would be there for her. Well I'm not going to try and convince you I'm sure you've talked to Carter already."

"As a matter of fact no I haven't when she told me I hung up on her and called you. I'll call her and tell her myself. I never supported this union and now she does this no I'm not going."

"It's up to you Cassie. I'm okay with it. I've got to go Daniel's on the other line I'll talk to you later oh and Merry Christmas."

"Yeah what's so Merry about it. I'm sorry Jack I love you and don't forget to look under the tree your present is there I hope you like."

I thanked her and went to talk to Daniel who was just as speechless as Cassie.

He said he understood if I didn't show.

"This is so sudden and well it took me by surprise but it didn't am I making any sense, Sam's been acting weird lately and it all points to him. She must have gotten bamboozled at the family gathering and she said they had this plan its like they want them to be married as soon as possible which isn't a good sign and.."

I stopped Daniel and told him to stop going over his conversation with Carter and told him what Cassie had said to me. He said he'd try and talk her into going and asked me for the number he could reach her at. I gave him the number and told him that he should be there at least one of her family should be there.

Daniel tried to ask another question the one I was dreading but I told him I was needed in the control room. He said he'd call me later or for me to call him. I told him I would and hung up the phone.

I was truly alone. I still had my family but the one I wanted the one I needed was going to be another man's wife.

The week passed in a blur. I avoided calls from Carter, Daniel and Cassie. The only one that cornered me was Teal'c when he returned through the gate and asked me if I was certain that I wanted Carter to marry a man he believed was not good enough for her and he would intercede on my behalf at the ceremony. I told him no that Carter knew what she was doing. He bowed his head and said he would convey my apologies for not making the ceremony.

I arrived the day before New Years Eve. I gave Siler the number to a cell phone that not even my family had and said to only use it if it was an emergency. He said he would and told me to have a great New Year and he would see me in a couple of days.

I had made it before the snow got too deep and set up my cabin for my one man party. I disconnected the phone and decided to do some ice fishing and to think of what I was going to do when she returned and the differences in our lives. I had to learn to distance myself from her she was my weakness always had been and always would be.

I opened the first bottle of beer the first of many and I raised it to the sky and wished her much happiness since I could never give her what she truly should have. I went out to my fish house made a hole in the lake and sat back and fished.

The quiet was deafening but welcomed I was getting use to being alone again. It was easier to deal this way.

By the time the cooler was empty I knew it was time to get back. I had forgotten Sam's present to me or self-consciously I left it behind not wanting to be reminded of what I once had and had now lost.

It was late when I made it back to the cabin but time here meant nothing to me. I was celebrating the beginning of a new year alone.

I built a nice big fire and went to go find my two companions that would help me ring in the New Year.

The answering machine was blinking I thought I had disconnected the damn thing. I pressed the machine and it said I had 4 messages. The first was from Cassie wondering were I was at and why I wasn't picking up my phone or answering my cell phone. She said she was lonely and felt bad since I didn't return any of her calls all week. She want to let me know she was going to be going to Denver to attend the wedding she didn't want me to worry when I called her at the hotel to find out she was gone. She said she wouldn't be making the ceremony anyway since she was stranded in Las Vegas because of the snow. She said she'd called Sam to tell her the bad news and Sam had told her to make the best of it with her friend. She also told me her friend had family in Vegas so they had somewhere to stay so not to worry.

"Jack I wish I had left earlier I was just being a spoiled brat. I just wished it was you and Sam getting married. There I said it. Mom would have stopped this made her see her mistake that she was settling but it's too late and maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you're not in love with her as we all thought. Happy New Year Jack I hope you have a great time."

I paused the message. I could hear the hurt in her voice. She was a dreamer but reality had finally hit and I was the reason she was hurting. She would never realize how close to the truth she was.

The next message was from Daniel he had been trying to leave Chicago since the day before and because of the snow he would not be making it to the ceremony. He tried to call Sam but her line had been busy and he tried to call Pete but his line went to his voice mail.

"Jack, she's going to be alone unless Teal'c gets there in time he's having trouble also getting to Denver he was driving up and was caught in a snow storm and well he had to pull over since it was impossible to see. He is going to try to make it I just thought you might want to know. Well Happy New Year Jack and I hope you get back to me or better yet try and call Sam for me."

Damn not good she wasn't going to have anyone there on her side of the chapel; she was going to be alone on what was suppose to be the happiest day of her life.

The next message was from Teal'c he was telling me what Daniel had already had. He was stuck in between Colorado Springs and Denver and said he would try to make it once the snow stop falling.

"This snow of yours is indeed a cumbersome nuisance O'Neill but I fear I will not make it to the ceremony in time. Samantha Carter will be alone on her special day. I can't make contact with her to inform her of my misfortune. I wish you well O'Neill and I only hope you can contact Samantha Carter and tell her of my plight."

The last message was from Carter.

"Sir I see you got to get away I called the SGC and they said you had taken care of the problem with your friend Thor. You never called me back and I just got my messages from Daniel, Teal'c and Cassie telling me there not going to make it to the ceremony. I understand it's the snow it finally stopped here and I'm just being sentimental just wishing all of you could be here. I've been so busy I haven't even had time to open your present but I will before the ceremony it will by my something new since I got the blue part covered with me missing all of you. I hope you have a great new year's sir and I'll see you when I get back."

She sounded so lost and I groaned and knew what I had to do. I looked at my two friends and put them away. Johnny and Jack junior would have to wait for another time.

I got myself geared up and grabbed my cell phone I could drive to the Worthington Municipal airport and call Hank Martin on the way to see if he would be willing to fly me to Denver to make the ceremony in time. I called Daniel to tell him what I was doing and to get the directions on were the chapel was and anything else. I was trying to call Carter but the phone said the caller was out of the area.

I locked up the cabin made sure everything was turned off and got into my truck. I got in contact with Hank and explained my dilemma. He said I was a damn fool for wanting to fly in weather like this but said he would take me if the weather would allow and he would see if they were allowing planes to land in Denver. I told him I'd be there in 30 minutes and he said he'd have answers by then.

This wasn't the way my New Year was suppose to go but she needed me and whenever she called I could never refuse. She needed her family and since it looked like I was the only one that could make it then I would put my feelings aside and be there for her.

I talked to Daniel and found out that the ceremony was going to be in Sterling. He said he was going to rent a tuxedo at a local shop and gave me the number to call to see if they could help me out. I wrote down the directions and the address and told him I was almost at the airport. He wished me luck and said to tell Sam he was sorry he couldn't make it.

I arrived at the airport and Hank said we had a window of half and hour to take off so we had to hurry. I explained to him that I needed to get to Sterling Colorado not Denver he said he would call to see if they were letting planes land. I called the tuxedo shop and explained who I was and what I needed, they said they could help and would wait till I arrived to close shop. Hank came back with the weather conditions and a verbal okay from Sterling and we took off.

It was a bumpy ride to Sterling with lots of turbulence. I figured I'd have time to get to the shop pick up my tux get dressed there and to the chapel to be there for her.

But, my luck wasn't holding it was starting to snow and the conditions were getting bad but Hank was determined to get me to Sterling.

We landed with only a light cover of snow. I asked if he wanted to join me since he would have to wait for the storm that we knew was coming to blow over he said no that he knew the controller and said he'd wait at the airport for me to return.

Hank's friend had let me borrow his car and I went to the tux shop. It was 5 o'clock and the ceremony would start at 7 so I was in no hurry. I called Carter's cell to let her know I was on my way but could not get a signal.

The tux shop was a nightmare since it was the only place to get one and it looked like everyone in Sterling was there to pick one up. I finally got the attention of one of the employees and was given my tux I asked if it was alright to change and they showed me into a dressing room and I put my clothing into my duffle bag and put my tux on.

It was classic black as the tag said with a crisp white shirt and pearl buttons. I had brought my own shoes and slipped them on. I looked at myself and thought not bad. I tried to comb my hair but knew it was hopeless and looked at my watch I was running late.

I came out and caught the eye of a few of the female patrons. I went to the counter and asked if I could return the tux the same day. She gave me a puzzled look and said no that it could be returned on the following day since they were about to close shop. I nodded and gave her my credit card so that she could charge it to my account.

She wished me a Happy New Year and I was out the door I had pulled out my overcoat and pulled my gloves from the pockets I got back into the car and made my way to the chapel.

Arriving at the Chapel I could see a few cars out front I found a parking spot. I shut off the car and sat there for a second. I needed to get my bearings. This wasn't exactly were I wanted to be but here I was nonetheless. She needed me I came. I would always come I only wanted to see her happy and if it meant it was with another man then so be it.

I got out of the car and made my way up to the Chapel there were quiet a few people around and I asked one of the ushers were Carter was. He asked if I was a family member and I answered yes. He pointed out a door at the back of the chapel and said that she was in there getting ready.

I gave him my thanks and made my way to the door. I hesitated before I knocked. I closed my eyes and prepared myself. Behind that door was Sam in a wedding gown marrying someone else not me. I took a deep breath and knocked. No one answered I knocked a little louder again and still no answer. I called out her name and waited but no answer. I tried the door and found it unlock. I was about to walk in when the preacher asked if the bride was ready since he wanted to start the ceremony and to ask if she knew where the groom was.

I turned to him and asked what did he mean the groom was missing.

"No I didn't say he was missing he just not around I spoke to him earlier and haven't seen him since. I was just wondering if Ms. Carter knew where he was."

I told him I had just arrived and had been knocking on the door and was about to enter the room when he got here. He turned the knob and the door opened.

There was no one inside. I walked in and picked up her jacket she had been here but now she was gone but to where. On the dressing table was the bag that had contained my gift. She said she would open it and she must have read the card that came with the gift. The preacher said he would go look for the groom's mother to see if she knew where the happy couple where.

This was not like Carter she wouldn't have disappeared. I was about to leave the room when I heard yelling in the back of the chapel.

I stepped outside and found Pete arguing with another man.

"Of all the low down things you could do Pete this is the worse. Did you think she wouldn't find out? Hell I found out and I've been here a day. I can't believe you had to trick her to marry you."

What did he just say? Trick her to marry him, what did the bastard do to Carter. I started to walk up to Pete or in my mind dead man and ask old Petey boy what had he done to Carter and if she was hurt proceed to maim or cause him bodily harm. The other man spoke again.

"I don't know what posses me to set you up with my sister. She told me what you did with the whole background check and the following her around that's not right and now you deceived her into marrying you. Hell Pete you had your whole family involve in this game. Yes game because this is how you treated it like a game. Who would Sam choose a man she thought loved her and would never lie or her career that she's work damn hard for and that she loves."

I stopped in my tracks the other man was Mark. Sam's brother Jacob's son and the man I hated for introducing Carter to such a pin head.

I had come up behind Mark when I caught Pete's eye. Pete let out a scream and started his rant.

"He's the reason why I had to get her to marry me like this. It's all there fault she would have not made me wait 2 weeks to give me an answer when I asked her to marry me at the park if it wasn't for him and that damn mountain. I could give her such a better life but I can't compete with them. They have always been a wedge between us. Its hard wanting to start a life with someone when there will always be a part of her that I can't have. It feels like a ghost always hanging around. Don't blame this all on me Mark deep down I think she was just looking for an excuse not to marry me and this well this was just a convenient way of her getting out of it."

Mark turned to look at me and asked me who I was.

I introduce myself and asked Mark were was Carter and pointing at Pete asked what had he done to make her run.

"Genius over there tried to get Sam to marry him today and make it look like it was a spur of the moment kind of thing when in reality it has been set up for months. He knew she would be coming up her alone on the pretense of meeting his family and that none of you would be around. I over heard him talking to his cousin and how this was the best ideal he could ever have and once they were married he could convince her to give up her career and have plenty of babies to take care of and to stay home like a good wife is suppose to."

I walked over to Pete and took off my coat and handed it to Mark. I grabbed him by his tux and started to yell at him. I let all my anger I had over the whole situation come out. I berated him for being such an ass. I pointed out to him that he had the most precious gift life could give him he had it in his hands and had lost it. That I for one was glad he had been caught since he was a fool for trying to deceive the one person he should never have lied to. He tried to jerk out of my grasp and started to yell back.

"It's always been you between us. I hear the way she talks about you and sometimes she's off in her own world and I know she's thinking of you. She changes from night to day when ever you call or are around. I know I could never have that type of devotion from her and I never would it killed me knowing the woman I love was in love with another man. I might be an ass but at least I'm not blind. I did this for a reason because if I didn't get her to the altar soon she would realize what I already know that she could never love me like she loves you."

I let him go and he fell in the snow. He was wrong, Sam didn't love me she hadn't loved me for a while now. We had left it in the room we knew we could never be together that too much was holding us back. I turned back to Mark and asked were Sam was. I needed answers and I needed them tonight.

Mark told me she had left after confronting Pete with the information he had given her.

I asked if he needed a ride back to town and he said no that Sam had taken Pete's truck and he had a rental. We decided to go look for her and to call each other when one or the other found her.

I left with what Pete had said floating around my brain.

Did she love me as much as I love her? Or was this just a convenient way of her getting out of committing herself to a relationship.

I drove all around Sterling looking for Sam with no luck. I had to let Hank know what was going on and made my way back to the airport.

I drove up and went to the main office. I could hear yelling and crying.

"You don't understand I need to get out of her tonight. Please I have to get to Minnesota it's a matter of life and death. He thinks I'm marrying someone else and he's alone oh he told me he had friends with him but I know it was so I wouldn't worry. Look what he gave me for Christmas it's the most beautiful gift I've ever received he wouldn't have written all of that on the card if he didn't care. Oh please you've got to find me a way to get to Minnesota. Please I'm begging you. Jack needs me."

The last sentence almost made my knees weak.

There in front of me was Sam in her wedding gown pleading with Hank and his friend to fly her to Minnesota.

She hadn't heard me come up behind her and I motioned for Hank and his friend to not alert her of my presence.

I put my hands on her shoulders. She tensed and came out swinging.

She knocked me out with a left cross the last thing I remember was hitting the floor and Carter yelling at Hank to get an ambulance.

Like I said I confess this was not the way I expected to spend my New Years Eve in a hospital bed with a black eye and a concussion.

I could hear Sam behind the curtain telling her brother Mark that she was not leaving until I woke up. I wanted to smile but it hurt too much. Tiny dwarfs were dancing a jig on my brain and my eye was beginning to throb. I was expecting to feel like this but I was expecting to have help from my friend Jack Daniels and Mr. Johnny Walker and no black eye. I groaned at how I was going to explain this to everyone back that the SGC.

The curtain was drawn open. The doctor's name was Kay Addams and she asked how was I feeling. I heard rustling behind her and Sam walked around the bed to my other side. She looked awful but beautiful to me at the same time.

She had been crying and it looked like she was waiting for me to retaliate for what she had done. I grabbed her hand and she winced. I looked down and saw the bruising on her knuckles. I started to chuckle and stopped when it caused me pain and I moaned out loud.

"Oh my god what's wrong what other damage did I do to him doc, why is he hurting. Oh sir if I can trade places with you I would I'm so sorry really I am I thought you were Pete."

I had questions but the first was answered the reason she had hit me. She thought I was the pinhead. I wanted to smile if I was worried that she couldn't take care of herself those doubts were put to bed with that punch.

I tried to tell her it was okay but the doctor interrupted me she said I didn't have much damage I had a slight concussion and would have the headache for some time. She was concern because I had been unconscious but had taken a CAT scan and could see no damage. Dr. Addams said I could stay or be discharged but if I did leave I would need someone to watch me for 24 hours. I said that was fine I didn't want to spend the night and said she'd write me up a prescription for some meds and I could be on my way.

She left and Sam was still next to me in her bridal gown. I asked what time it was and she pulled up her arm and looked at her watch and said 11:30 she was about to put her arm down when I grabbed her wrist. She was startled till she saw what I was doing.

I was admiring the gift I had given her. I had gotten it the last time I was off world right before the whole ancient thing right before she accepted Pete's proposal.

It was a bracelet with smooth colored stones that where blue as her eyes and brown as chocolate. It looked so delicate so dainty that I pictured her wearing it when I saw it. I couldn't resist and it cost me my favorite hat and sunglasses a steal in my mind.

She smiled and thanked me for such a unique gift. She asked me were had I found such a beautiful bracelet and the color of the stones reminded her of my eyes.

I corrected her and said no the blue stones had reminded me of her eyes when she discovered a solution to a problem she was working on they would shine this color and then smile.

"Carter that smile is to die for".

She looked down and I wanted to kick myself. Did I just say that out loud? Blame it on the meds quick.

She looked down and I was still holding her wrist.

"Sir I'm so sorry for hitting you I wasn't expecting you I thought it was that jerk."

She tried to move away but I wouldn't let her. I could tell she was holding back her tears and whispered out.

"He tricked me. He said this whole wedding thing was a spur of the moment ideal and he had it planned all along. His whole family was involved. It was just too convenient how everything feel into place and when Mark found out and told me I was in shock but not surprised. He wanted to start our lives with a lie. Our whole marriage would have been a sham. It was a game to him our lives were nothing to him. How am I suppose to start my life with someone if they can't tell me what's in there heart. But I'm to blame too I wasn't truthful either. I thought he was the answer to my problem. He filled a void but I think he knew I would never commit to him I guess I was settling since I couldn't have what I wanted."

I let go of her hand she moved to sit on the bed.

She was laying her cards on the table and I was speechless. She looked at me and started to outline my eye.

"You came. I can't believe it I thought this was the last place you would want to be. Why sir why did you come? I was about to marry another man a man I know you don't like but still you came."

I tried to sit up but she held me down telling me to not make too many fast moves. I took her bruised hand and examined it.

"You should watch what you hit you know I have a hard head."

I needed to regroup so I tried to change the subject. What was I going to tell her?

She snorted and asked softly that I had not answered her question.

She wanted honesty I would give her honesty.

"Carter I came because I couldn't stand you having none of us around on what is suppose to be the happiest day of your life. When Cassie, Daniel and Teal'c left me messages and I found out they weren't going to make it and then hearing your call I just knew I had to be here. I'm not going to say I'm sorry this pinhead lost you but I am sorry he hurt you. You deserve better then him you deserve to be loved and cherished not lied to and deceived. I should have punched his lights out but Mark looked like he wanted to finish the job. Your right this is the last place I wanted to be but I thought you were happy and that's all I ever wanted for you. To find happiness in your life god knows you deserve it."

"Sir you saw Pete? You went to the chapel. Mark didn't tell me oh my god he must have been livid that you showed to see his plan foiled. Oh boy he must have been beside himself. But I for one am glad he deserves everything that's happened and if I ever see him again it wouldn't be too soon. What was I thinking I was going to marry that lying jerk. I was pulling away from him I think this was his last ditch effort to get me to be his wife. It was getting harder ever since we moved in together and it was making me realize what a mistake it was I just didn't know how I was going to break it to him and then this happen or didn't happen which I am grateful to Mark he got me into this mess now and out of it."

We stood quiet and she looked up and took a deep breath.

She grew quiet. Looked up to me and asked, "Sir, the card did you mean what you wrote?"

Oh the card I wrote it at a moment of weakness when I knew I wouldn't be around for her to ask me questions. It was short and gave me a sense of peace in writing it. It said that I was so proud of all she had done in the time we had known each other and even though life decided to put us on different paths I would always be there for her I would be her touch stone and all she had to do was call or ask and I would be there. I signed it Love Jack. Honesty that's what the note represented. I had shown her an inch of what my feelings for her where. I was scared if I said the wrong thing I might lose her myself.

"Sir I opened the gift and was speechless and then the card fell out of the bag and it touched me. I never knew. Wait let me rephrase that I knew but I thought you had left it in the room. I thought you stopped loving me."

I was to blame for this I had pushed her away and she thought I had stopped caring? How could I stop loving someone that I needed more then anything else in my life?

"Sam I never stopped caring for you. There it's out of the room I'm sorry that you thought that. With all these changes in our lives with us having the regulations between us and waiting I thought you had given up. That you didn't want to wait any longer I had no right to keep you from finding your happiness."

"Silly man you are my happiness. I was settling for something else since what I truly wanted I couldn't have. I thought you didn't love me anymore."

I pulled her down on to my chest and stroked her hair and whispered for being a General and a Lt. Colonel in the Air Force we were as dumb as rocks.

She snorted and started to giggle. "You're right we are as dumb as rocks. But at least we realize that we love each other. We do love each other right?'

I pulled her up looked at her watch and said "love you since the first day I met you and will love you till the day I die. Happy New Year Sam now kiss me."

She pulled him to her and kissed him to ring in the New Year with a promise for a better one then the year before.


End file.
